June 29, 2012

Over It	Baby Boys
I have some friends getting married in a couple weeks and I have been asked to do a reading. It was also sort of hinted at that I might be free to read something that I wrote for the occasion. So I'm writing something for the occasion. And I'm afraid it is taking all of my creative writing ability at the moment which means this is all you get in the way of new-mother-related blog post today: I am so tired of taking vitamins. Seriously. For the 9 months of my pregnancy and now the whole time I'm breastfeeding, handful of vitamins - every night. I used to not be able to swallow pills at all. I eventually was able to take sudafed - one tiny red pill at a time. And now look at this mess'a'vits I have to take! I'm over it. But of course I'm not really over it because I still take them - every night. Oh, for the love of... My kid.  ~M	Today I ventured out with SJ and version 1.0 for a packed full schedule.  Bank, Menards, and then a stop at a local bookstore where 1.0 was to give his application directly to the manager in hopes of gaining part time employment.  A moment that took my breath away.  I watched him walk into the store with his nicely filled out application looking so grown up and ready for a new adventure.  Bitter sweet doesn’t even cover it.  I am beyond proud of the young man he has turned out to be.  He is comfortable in his own skin.  What more could I ask for?  It was a busy day out with my oldest and my youngest.  Our last stop was at my mom's house.  I helped her get some technology set up while 1.0 cared for SJ. After an hour or so, this is how I found them.  SJ sound asleep with his big brother.  Somehow SJ is happy to just sit with 1.0.  No need for walking or bouncing really.  Just sit together. 16 years between these boys and the similarities are uncanny.  Maybe it’s just that I remember the details of my firstborn, as everything was new to me; or maybe I am more aware of the details with SJ as an older mommy.  I’m not sure, but what I do know is that these two have an understanding between them.  They communicate in a way that only they understand and I love it. I also know that they both are, and will always be, my baby boys. ~A

June 28, 2012

I Got Nothin’	Things Grow and Grow...
Still in a no-sleep-hang-over from night before last. And, I try not to comment on the heat because everyone does but, the heat doesn't help. 104 in Indiana today??! Think I'll move to Ireland until the fall... ~M	Out of nowhere, even through a drought, things grow... and grow... and grow.  Even if you aren’t ready for them to or don’t want them to.  This weed on the side of our house has reached quite a height considering it is towering over my 6’ son.   Ah yes, it can all happen so fast. ~A

June 27, 2012

“When Poop is No Longer a Gift”	“Oh, No…”
BC didn't sleep well last night. At all. The little sleep he did get was restless. We co-sleep and bed share so BC having a restless night means we did too. I woke up exhausted and, naturally, I had an important work meeting today that would have been nice to be well rested for. I was bemoaning the fact that I'd not gotten much sleep when I ran across the above graphic.  I'll give you a minute to read it.  Okay. So here's the part where I'm supposed to say that I read those words and my exhaustion from the night before seemed insignificant; that the sleepless night was of little consequence because of all the blessing inherent in motherhood. "Children are miraculous." But I'm not going to say that.  See, I do believe that children are miraculous. And I know that the blessings inherent in motherhood are too numerous to count. All that doesn't change the fact that I am exhausted. I think a lot of attention gets paid to all the mushy stuff that is part of new parentdom. And while that's all well and good (believe me, I spread quite a bit of the mushy stuff too. Just read these blog posts...), it's not all there is.  I once heard an interview with a new parent who was talking about the "babymoon" phase of parenthood and about how, eventually, that ends and life begins. Her way of putting it? "When poop is no longer a gift, you know it's over." Yeah. When the exhaustion is no longer a gift...     I'm not going to write about how I love even the sleepless nights because it means I get to see my son's eyes light up a few more hours that day. I'm not going to do that because I like sleep. I don't think that makes me a bad parent, just a real one. I think anyone who says they never had a night when they wished their kid would just sleep is either lying or delusional. Because my kid is pretty new and I've already wished for that - more than once.  But, and you knew there'd be a "but", I wouldn't change my life right now for the world. Know why? Because my child truly is miraculous.  -M	Version 4.0 is taking on the big brother role quite nicely.  I have to admit we weren’t sure because for nine and a half years he was the baby and embraced that role whole heartedly. He loves holding SJ and talking to him.   They all do really, but there is something so sweet about listening to 4.0 talk baby talk to SJ. This evening I asked him to come talk to SJ while I put some laundry away and did a few chores.  I listened to the conversation that went much like this. “Hi baby.  How are you baby?” “aaaahhh” “Did you have a good day?” “naaaaaaaahhhhm” “a bo bo bo bo bo. I’m gonna get your foot a mah mah mah” “naaahh ahhh” Then I heard gut wrenching laughter.  I had a feeling I knew what had happened.  4.0 was cracking up!  This laughter was broken up by the following phrase repeated throughout. “Oh no!  Did you make a stinky?” Yes SJ provides much entertainment for a young boy who thinks that burps, drool and poop are very very funny things! ~A

June 26, 2012

Tip #4	"Remember When?"
This one is probably pretty obvious but just in case you think you need to run out to Buy Buy Baby and buy buy for baby, here's a tip: Craigslist. For real. If you ask me, whoever invented Craigslist is a genius. You can find ANYTHING on Craigslist. We've purchased a pack'n'play, a hook-on highchair, a stuffed rocking horse, a Boppy, a Bumbo seat, an exersaucer, a play mat/gym, and baby clothes all for under $200! For. Real.  And when we're done with all of this stuff we plan on reselling on Craigslist, which is just a bit of icing.  ~M	There is something so special about having a life long friend. I’ve witnessed the bonds between pairs that have been a part of each other’s lives from the start.  It’s a unique bond. 14 years ago I stepped into a local church for the first time and sat in the back checking things out.  I had version 1.0 sitting in the seat next to me and version 2.0 in the sling (yes I’ve always been a baby wearer).  Down the row from me sat a woman with her baby in her sling.  She immediately welcomed me to the church and we both ooo’d and awed over each other’s little bundle of joy.  They were barely a month apart in age.   We, from that point on, began to develop a wonderful friendship.  Our children grew very close through the years as we homeschooled together and did life together.  There was a special connection for those two babies that grew into precious little girls. What a treat; listening to them tell stories, dream and imagine together.  It was something special for me to watch.  I didn't have that same opportunity since we moved around a lot with mom's career.  I don’t remember living in the same town for more than two years and good friendships were hard to maintain at a distance.  I’ve always said I wanted my kids to have the privilege of lifelong friendships.  To be able to share stories of when they were little. About 5 or so years ago, human error and unfortunate circumstances separated version 2.0 and her friend.  Innocent victims to a lot of adult nonsense. I witnessed my daughter's pain as she tried to understand why she could no longer spend time with her friend, which is why today was so special.  Today she got to go spend time with her friend and it was everything she had hoped for.    Today she was reminded of how special that friendship was as they were allowed the opportunity to share stories, dream and imagine together again.  They had a wonderful time talking about all the fun they had as little girls.  It was a few hours of... "remember when?" and "wasn't it great when we?"  A special connection and bond. SJ and BC are starting their life journey only 19 days apart in age and a shorter distance in miles.  I’m so excited to watch them grow and learn and experience life together. I can't wait to witness the telling of stories, dreaming and imagining together. I anticipate Molly and I will provide plenty of opportunities for fun friend adventures and, knowing Molly and I, we will be happy to create a few more adventures in our own friendship as well! ~A

June 25, 2012

Opal Ali	Mobile… Sort Of
2-months later The cat looks on Awaiting her turn at the play mat. He's not mobile She shows respect. Wonder how long that'll last... ~M	For the past 11 weeks I have found it quite difficult to get much done, hence the list of things needing to be done at home is not getting any shorter!  Sure the first 6 weeks I wasn’t supposed to really do much but take care of SJ.   Honestly I find it very difficult to do anything but snuggle with him.  I put him in his Moby Wrap and or Sling to do the absolute necessary (like feed the other children), but I am feeling the subconscious stress as things are starting to pile up. So today we went mobile.  Time to knock some stuff off of that list.  Of course SJ wanted to do his part helping me with my commitment to exercise.  So I carried him a lot for my bicep workout.   I think I’ll just take one baby step at a time.  J ~A

June 24, 2012

Proud	Roller Coasters
BC and I were at the Marion county fair today. The grounds consist of a few barns and buildings in the middle of a cornfield that get covered with vendors and rides and lights one week a year. I was told beforehand that they always have a lactation station there which was, of course, good news. I was actually looking forward to paying a visit to the lactation station because I never had.  My husband and I first ventured out of our baby sanctuary a mere 3 days after BC was born. My milk had just come in that morning and there I was, sitting in this chiropractor's waiting room, nursing. Nursing in public. This was something friends, relatives, and all of my breastfeeding books told me I wouldn't be comfortable doing for months. But we do what needs doing and in that moment my baby needed to nurse.  So I wasn't hunting for the lactation station at the county fair because I didn't want to nurse out in the open public, rather, it was because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. The moms on the breastfeeding forum I'm a member of had talked all about how wonderful lactation stations are and I wanted to see. I figured at best it would be an air conditioned room with comfy chairs and soft music playing, at worst a walled tent with folding chairs. I figured wrong.  Turns out the "worst" was in fact no lactation station at all. The pudgy middle-aged man who I had asked about a lactation station's whereabouts told me that they didn't have one this year but I might try the exposition hall, where it was air conditioned, or the livestock barn, where there was plenty of seating.  "Okay," I said. "Good thing I don't mind nursing in public." "Not at all," he said. "You should be proud to. I think it's wonderful." ... ... ... Wha-huh?! I double checked his face. Yup. He was serious. Understand that I think it's pretty darn great he was so forthcoming with the encouragement, it was just so highly unexpected. This is Indiana, see; a far cry from the breastfeeding in public capitol of the world. My midwife told me that once, while volunteering at a lactation station at a local festival, someone walked by and spit on them. Spit on them! Because it was crude and indecent, I guess. So yeah, breastfeeding in public isn't the norm here. I walked around for a bit looking for a place where I could sit and be proud with my little nursling. The exhibition hall had zero seating and the livestock barn was full of livestock (go figure). There wasn't any place on the grounds to sit in the shade. Not even an upside down bucket under a tree. So we went back to the car to nurse, which was fine in the end.  Upon reflection, I have to admit that I am disappointed the fair had decided to stop providing a lactation station for its patrons this year. But I'm almost glad in a way, because otherwise I never would have been told to be proud to nurse by a complete stranger in the middle of a cornfield in Indiana.  ~M	SJ’s little personality is shining through daily.  We learn more and more about him all the time.  We often joke that he hates that roller coaster feeling, but it is true.  Any sudden movements or the feeling you get when you go quickly down a hill are not enjoyable feelings to him.  He will never be a toss around little guy, for those people who think it necessary to fly babies around like airplanes. I know this because every morning when I go to take him downstairs to greet the world he pulls a little closer to me.  I can feel him tense up and hold his breathe a little before I’ve even taken the first step.  Knowing this I, of course, take my time and talk to him. Holding him as close as I can so he knows he will be ok and is safe as we take that journey together. For the record, I’m not a fan either.  Truth is today was tough.  Kind of a roller coaster day for me.  Highs and lows and through it all I just wanted to hold on tight and shut my eyes.   Good friends helping along the way made the ride a little less bumpy and certainly added much needed humor.  Of course a little talk time with SJ goes a long way too.  We sat outside in the cool breeze that made it’s way into town, I said a few prayers, and we both agreed if we have to get on a few roller coasters at least we have an awesome family buckled in with us! ~A