June 24, 2012

Proud	Roller Coasters
BC and I were at the Marion county fair today. The grounds consist of a few barns and buildings in the middle of a cornfield that get covered with vendors and rides and lights one week a year. I was told beforehand that they always have a lactation station there which was, of course, good news. I was actually looking forward to paying a visit to the lactation station because I never had.  My husband and I first ventured out of our baby sanctuary a mere 3 days after BC was born. My milk had just come in that morning and there I was, sitting in this chiropractor's waiting room, nursing. Nursing in public. This was something friends, relatives, and all of my breastfeeding books told me I wouldn't be comfortable doing for months. But we do what needs doing and in that moment my baby needed to nurse.  So I wasn't hunting for the lactation station at the county fair because I didn't want to nurse out in the open public, rather, it was because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. The moms on the breastfeeding forum I'm a member of had talked all about how wonderful lactation stations are and I wanted to see. I figured at best it would be an air conditioned room with comfy chairs and soft music playing, at worst a walled tent with folding chairs. I figured wrong.  Turns out the "worst" was in fact no lactation station at all. The pudgy middle-aged man who I had asked about a lactation station's whereabouts told me that they didn't have one this year but I might try the exposition hall, where it was air conditioned, or the livestock barn, where there was plenty of seating.  "Okay," I said. "Good thing I don't mind nursing in public." "Not at all," he said. "You should be proud to. I think it's wonderful." ... ... ... Wha-huh?! I double checked his face. Yup. He was serious. Understand that I think it's pretty darn great he was so forthcoming with the encouragement, it was just so highly unexpected. This is Indiana, see; a far cry from the breastfeeding in public capitol of the world. My midwife told me that once, while volunteering at a lactation station at a local festival, someone walked by and spit on them. Spit on them! Because it was crude and indecent, I guess. So yeah, breastfeeding in public isn't the norm here. I walked around for a bit looking for a place where I could sit and be proud with my little nursling. The exhibition hall had zero seating and the livestock barn was full of livestock (go figure). There wasn't any place on the grounds to sit in the shade. Not even an upside down bucket under a tree. So we went back to the car to nurse, which was fine in the end.  Upon reflection, I have to admit that I am disappointed the fair had decided to stop providing a lactation station for its patrons this year. But I'm almost glad in a way, because otherwise I never would have been told to be proud to nurse by a complete stranger in the middle of a cornfield in Indiana.  ~M	SJ’s little personality is shining through daily.  We learn more and more about him all the time.  We often joke that he hates that roller coaster feeling, but it is true.  Any sudden movements or the feeling you get when you go quickly down a hill are not enjoyable feelings to him.  He will never be a toss around little guy, for those people who think it necessary to fly babies around like airplanes. I know this because every morning when I go to take him downstairs to greet the world he pulls a little closer to me.  I can feel him tense up and hold his breathe a little before I’ve even taken the first step.  Knowing this I, of course, take my time and talk to him. Holding him as close as I can so he knows he will be ok and is safe as we take that journey together. For the record, I’m not a fan either.  Truth is today was tough.  Kind of a roller coaster day for me.  Highs and lows and through it all I just wanted to hold on tight and shut my eyes.   Good friends helping along the way made the ride a little less bumpy and certainly added much needed humor.  Of course a little talk time with SJ goes a long way too.  We sat outside in the cool breeze that made it’s way into town, I said a few prayers, and we both agreed if we have to get on a few roller coasters at least we have an awesome family buckled in with us! ~A