June 5, 2012

Gulp	Two Months
Today I held my breath and swallowed hard; I was walking out the door without my son. I went to work for 3 hours today. Left BC with my mom. This was the first time we'd been apart for more than 20 minutes since he was born.  It was a difficult first step in what will eventually be my full-time return to the workforce. 3 hours today, 4 hours tomorrow... Baby steps. Baby steps for me and for my baby because, you see, this was also the first time he'd been apart from me for more than 20 minutes since he was born. It probably was harder on me than on him. He was asleep when I left and seemed happy when I returned. He even drank from a bottle the 2 ounces of Mama Milk I left for him. I was hoping my mom wouldn't need it, although I should have known better. BC is quite the eater.  Seeing that empty bottle broke my heart a little. Of course, he latched right onto me when I got home and nursed there happily for an hour. That's one way to fix heartbreak.  ~M	Today SJ is officially two months old.  He is starting to look more like a baby and not so much a newborn.  Sigh… It seems to be going so fast.  I am aware that the world is expecting me to get stuff done, but I really just want to continue nesting for as long as I can. I started this day rushing around to get to various places, boys to a play date, daughter off to babysitting, haircut, grocery store and an important meeting for a friend… all in all I’m fighting to hang on to this “babymoon” as long as I possibly can while outside forces are tugging on me. On our way home from a very eventful day, over the stressed out dialogue in my head, I heard my nine year old say, “Mom, the baby needs deslobbered! Can I do it?” Yeah, I needed that laugh. ~A